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The Faggot-Witch Whenever
Lessons in self-love. Antidotes to trans hate.

Featured articles

To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

RuPaul Uncut

RuPaul Uncut

A Supposedly Female Thing I’ll Never Do Again

A Supposedly Female Thing I’ll Never Do Again

Does This RV Make Me Look Gay?

Does This RV Make Me Look Gay?

Faggot-Witch Forever: A Letter of Resignation to Cis Publishing

Faggot-Witch Forever: A Letter of Resignation to Cis Publishing

Latest

09
Apr

What’s Grosser Than Gross

Not a primate penis!
8 min read
22
Mar
A man lying in bed with a cat asleep on his shoulder. The cat is black with white paws and whiskers; the man is white and wearing a white fleece.

Cat Person 😻

Let yourself be loved, for fuck’s sake.
15 min read
24
Feb
B A N K R U P T C Y Y Y Y Y Y Y

B A N K R U P T C Y Y Y Y Y Y Y

Plus, the annual titties-free celebration sale.
12 min read
05
Feb
A Tale of Two Swimsuits

A Tale of Two Swimsuits

Two pictures are worth a thousand words.
1 min read
08
Jan
I Can Haz House

I Can Haz House

A video tour of my tiny, movable home. 🎥
8 min read
16
Dec
To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

Thomas Penis Esquire III turns five.
7 min read
12
Nov
A person in high-heeled alligator boots, shorts, and a sequin vest stands in front of a garage painted NO PARKING.

Love Is Like Oral

It’s specialized as hell.
10 min read
30
Sep
Tiny Video of a Happy Trans

Tiny Video of a Happy Trans

Tiny-dishwasher edition.
6 min read
10
Sep
A bearded man in a long black dress stands in front of evergreens next to an RV with a black hose coming out of the bottom.

How to Handle Your Shit

The Emmy-edited RV-pooping video you’ve been waiting for. 💩🎬
5 min read
29
Aug
My Katrina Evacuation

My Katrina Evacuation

What happened when I fled New Orleans from the most destructive hurricane in American history.
19 min read