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The Faggot-Witch Whenever
Lessons in self-love. Antidotes to trans hate.

Featured articles

RuPaul Uncut

RuPaul Uncut

A Supposedly Female Thing I’ll Never Do Again

A Supposedly Female Thing I’ll Never Do Again

Does This RV Make Me Look Gay?

Does This RV Make Me Look Gay?

Latest

Dec
16
To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

To My Penis on His Birthday 🎂🍆

Thomas Penis Esquire III turns five.
7 min read
Nov
12
A person in high-heeled alligator boots, shorts, and a sequin vest stands in front of a garage painted NO PARKING.

Love Is Like Oral

It’s specialized as hell.
10 min read
Sep
30
Tiny Video of a Happy Trans

Tiny Video of a Happy Trans

Tiny-dishwasher edition.
6 min read
Sep
10
A bearded man in a long black dress stands in front of evergreens next to an RV with a black hose coming out of the bottom.

How to Handle Your Shit

The Emmy-edited RV-pooping video you’ve been waiting for. 💩🎬
5 min read
Aug
29
My Katrina Evacuation

My Katrina Evacuation

What happened when I fled New Orleans from the most destructive hurricane in American history.
19 min read
Aug
15
A TV screenshot of man with his face covered in rhinoceros makeup stands in a room filled with lit candles, and the caption, “The Dolphin Queen chose me.”

Heed the Dolphin Queen

Maybe being myself is easier than I think.
4 min read
Jul
31
Navy Gay Death Cruise

Navy Gay Death Cruise

Three trans people walk onto a warship.
14 min read
Jun
22
Unpaid Advertisement: Three Cherries

Unpaid Advertisement: Three Cherries

Better living through garnishes (and throughout wars).
10 min read
May
11
Happy You-Survived-Your-Mother Day

Happy You-Survived-Your-Mother Day

To my fellow undercared-fors.
5 min read
Apr
01
The author leans into a life-sized skeleton tacked against a wooden post in a bar, making a kissing face.

The White Lotus Is Stealth Trans Hate.

Let’s talk about Real Trans Sex, HBO.
13 min read